Direction

It's 1:19 AM and I'm far from getting into my comfy new pretty comforter.  Oh soft bed, don't be too lonely without me tonight...I'm just trying to win a job so I can get you a room to go with your fabulous pillow one day. 

I am at a transition in life right now, floating somewhere in between college student status, part-time job, part-time intern, part-time volunteer, full-time soul.  While I find this status exciting, it's been so exciting that I've lost many peaceful nights of rest, and my memory has become quite mushed along with my sanity.  I'm even losing my normal human functions...knees with the ability to move without hurting, heads with the ability to feel nothing but normal...you know, the petty things middle class kids are spoiled with sometimes.

Somewhere in the mush of things I keep reminding myself that yes, there's something greater behind what I'm doing.  There's a reason to do things and to do them well; and it's beyond my own success.  Yes, there's a way to work towards sanctifying myself.

A quote from one of my directors comes to mind:

If you lose the supernatural meaning of your life, your charity will be philanthropy; your purity, decency; your mortification, stupidity; your discipline, a lash; and all your works, fruitless. (The Way, 280)

 I cannot lose the focus, I will continue the fight. No battle can be quit.

~Esa Cita