Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I'm hungry.

Yyyaaaahhhhooooo, I like Tuesdays! Tuesdays are my nice day. I'm finished early, I get to go home or do whatever I like.....Tuesdays are such a nice alternative to Mondays.

Anyways, I have TWO WEEKS until I will be FINISHED!

I still can't believe it, at all. There's just no way!


I'm starving for some reason, so I'm gonna go feed myself.

Night night,

~Esa Cita

Monday, April 26, 2010

Superstar

Whiny-baby Moments

Bad dream last night!

Don't mess with me dreams, that's not cool.

I was not happy in my dream, at all. Wah. :/

Even the people in my nightmare felt bad for me, which shows how much of a baby I am...even strangers can feel bad for me. St. Therese is definitely my patron saint.

Well, that's the random thought. Now time to be a superstar in Spanish..if that's really possible for me.


~Esa Cita

The Past, The Present, a Comfy Couch, and the Future

Saying Hi to Strangers

This is the third house that this couch* has sat on in the total of four years.

I've sat on this couch many a times. I've sat on it wondering where I'd go to college, with the fear that I wouldn't afford to go to college, studying for that horrible anatomy and physiology final exam, chit chatting with my friends, and now, years later, I sit here preparing for my last Spanish final presentation I'll hopefully ever have to give.

Even now, I still listen to Enrique Iglesias on my iPod and I still don't always paint both hands in the same sitting (or even day) when painting my nails.

It's kind of finny that despite all the "wisdom" that I've accumulated throughout my college years, I'm the same fool that has a way with words and has accent confusion when she talks sometimes.

I'm comfortable, I'm really comfortable. (Literally, because I'm on a couch...and also with life...)

For the first time in my life, I'm going to be attending a school for more than two years! I should be able to graduate next spring, but I'm sticking with the four-year thing...maybe I'll pick up a minor or another concentration....use the time to go abroad...who knows! It's going to be a stimulating next two years that's for sure! :) That would be fun.

The let's groove tonight song is playing.

~Esa Cita

*[note: I wrote this as I was sitting on a couch...there is no picture of a couch on this website...]

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Summer-Wishing


Summer, summer, where are you?!?!?!??!!

It could not seem farther away, I CANNOT believe that in two weeks it will be all finished!

Too much to do in so little time, I've had no life in a while. Crazy...well I will be so happy for this summer.

I applied for an internship this weekend, I really hope I get it!

Goal: finish Spanish final presentation and practice music for Mass tonight..


kjfhdaslkfjh lsdfh sldkfhjksh kjsh kjsdh

Can't wait for finals to be over already.


~Esa Cita

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Catholic Church

Part of an article by Sam Miller, a prominent Cleveland Jewish businessman, on the Catholic Church:


"Why would newspapers carry on a vendetta on one of the most important institutions that we have today in the United States, namely the Catholic Church?

Do you know - the Catholic Church educates 2.6 million students everyday at the cost to that Church of $10 billion dollars, and a savings on the other hand to the American taxpayer of $18 billion dollars. The graduates go on to graduate studies at the rate of 92%.

The Church has 230 colleges and universities in the U.S. with an enrollment of 700,000 students.

The Catholic Church has a non-profit hospital system of 637 hospitals, which account for hospital treatment of 1 out of every 5 people - not just Catholics - in the United States .

But the press is vindictive and trying to totally denigrate in every way the Catholic Church in this country. They have blamed the disease of pedophilia on the Catholic Church, which is as irresponsible as blaming adultery on the institution of marriage.

Let me give you some figures that Catholics should know and remember. For example, 12% of the 300 Protestant clergy surveyed admitted to sexual intercourse with a parishioner; 38% acknowledged other inappropriate sexual contact in a study by the United Methodist Church, 41.8% of clergy women reported unwanted sexual behavior; 17% of lay women have been sexually harassed. Meanwhile, 1.7% of the Catholic clergy has been found guilty of pedophilia 10% of the Protestant ministers have been found guilty of pedophilia. This is not just a Catholic problem!

Meanwhile, a study of American priests showed that most are happy in the priesthood and find it even better than they had expected, and that most, if given the choice, would choose to be priests again in face of all this obnoxious PR the church has been receiving.

The Catholic Church is bleeding from self-inflicted wounds. The agony that Catholics have felt and suffered is not necessarily the fault of the Church. You have been hurt by a small number of wayward priests.

Walk with your shoulders high and your head higher. Be a proud member of the most important non-governmental agency in the United States. Then remember what Jeremiah said: 'Stand by the roads, and look and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is and walk in it, and find rest for your souls'. Be proud to speak up for your faith with pride and reverence and learn what your Church does for people all over the world ~ no matter what their religions.

Be proud if you're a Catholic."


Love it, thank you Sam.

In other, more recent news, here's another article.

~Esa Cita

Monday, April 19, 2010

Monday :)

Can't Wait for Beach Days

Another Monday of classes finished....boom, roasted.

I'm chilling at the chapel about to work on a paper before bstudy.

..............
.........
........

Okay, about 20 minutes have passed....gotta love distractions in life haha.


There's about three weeks left of school...so final presentations and papers have been occupying most of my time and my mind. Also, I need to get on my summer plans.

I just discovered this amazing brand of clothes....making fun of the North Face. It's called the South Butt. Amazin, no??? When I have more money, I plan on getting a hoodie.

Here's an advertisement for them:



So awesome. I really want to rock em.


Anyways, I'm going to get a lil bit of spanish done. Three more weeks, three more weeks.....almost there!!!


~Esa Cita

Here.




So God is good...he's really really good.

It's in patience and believing that even through the tough things that happen He's there that we get rewarded.

Sometimes it's not for a very long time until we get rewarded.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
"I have seen the business that God has given to the sons of men to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time; also he has put eternity into man's mind, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end."

"Be still and know that he is God
Be still and know that he is faithful
Consider all that he has done
Stand in awe and be amazed
And know that he will never change
Be still."

Love it.

I often wonder why I should have to suck it up and believe that I'm going to be taken care of. It's hard to see that the most wonderful plan for me is in action. Having a satisfaction that He's going to take care of me and that I'll be alright...that's difficult.

Anyways, today I got a lil slap on the face on how wonderful things have changed in the past year. I'm so grateful for where I am today, and I'm so glad for everything. I'm glad I've been challenged..and I'm glad that it's been tough...everything is becoming beautiful in it's time. For that, I'm grateful.

And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

-Hehe, Rascal Flatts :)


Here's what God has to say about faith:
"And without faith it is impossible to please him. For whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."
-Hebrew 11:6

Chyea buddy...rolling like a big shot.
Thank you God for bringing me to here. I'm a hot mess, but I'm so so grateful for getting at the place I'm at now. It was difficult, but it's just because you had something better in store for me. :)


~Esa Cita

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Cuban-Spanish-Filipino Amuurrrican



Hello lovely blog,
It's 1:05AM and I've been on Facebook telling myself I'd log off for about 2 or more hours...not fun!!!!

Tomorrow I have my last big grade for the week...my presentation of my EVPP 337 case study on the Philippines!!!! Yayyyyyy. A week later, I will be completely finished with that case study when I turn in the final edit of my paper! I can't wait to be done with it, it's been the cause of so many yucky laptop sit-ins!

In other news, Cuba has allowed its barbershops/beautyshops to become free-market...weird eh? Heh heh, looks like the recession is kickin' someone in the behind -cough- Castro. It's a 15% tax, but hey it's kinda cool if you're a fan of capitalism. Every little bit counts even if it is a communist country.... I guess that's a positive. Too bad I have little faith in the longevity of the "free-market pedicures"...just like all of Castro's other little projects.

My grandmother's friend just got back from Cuba because they have this orphanage there that they are involved in, and he said that when he went to a regular non-tourist restaurant there to order regular Cuban food (croquettas), he got laughed at. They told him that day they were serving stupid staple food. My mom scoffed when she heard this and said, "well, for Cuban food you gotta go to Miami now huh?" I love being a Cuban in the USA.

There's going to be a presentation tomorrow night in Maryland about Cuba but I have a training to go to. :( Wah.

So now that I realized that I've been blabbing on topics related to two of my three ethnicities, I think it's only fair to mention Spain. Uh, World Youth Day's gonna be in Madrid, the city where I spent the first five month of my life! Also, I really like bread. Like bun bread. It's amazing, I'm a fan.

And of course: AMUURRRRICA. Land of McDonald's and dollar bills and the White House. Birthplace of my mom and six of my siblings. Home of most the houses I've lived in. It's the land where I can be Cuban, Spanish, and Filipino and be really really cool...sorta. It's the place where I can be Catholic without fearing for my life....sorta. I can go to school and know that because someone in my family obtained education I am living one of the richest lives on this planet.

It is now 2:26AM and I have successfully wasted way too much of my time doing not too much productive-ness. I'm going to bed, goodnighttt.

~Esa Cita

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A Little Bit of History...



Once upon a time....

there was a high school in Illinois
by the name of Althoff Catholic High School.

There attended a 16-year-old junior by the name of [me] and a boy by the name of "Alex." This girl ruined that boys birthday on a lovely Friday afternoon in April, and she never forgot.

This blog is dedicated to "Alex," because on this day three years ago I ruined this kids birthday. It's now 2010, and I'm still the "heartless" one. Alex, if you read this, happy birthday. I hope I didn't mess it up this time. :)


~Esa Cita

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Ladala

Last night, I came across an old journal from high school. In addition to 95% of the pages dedicated to boy issues, I found how different I was before I started college and how much I changed throughout high school. It got me thinking today about how beautiful my life is in the grand scheme of things and how it's changed over the years.

However, I need to focus away from my awesome life and get more into my economics stuff....midterm on Monday and I'm scurredddd. I'm also scared for my spanish paper due Monday too. Wah. Can't wait until Thursday at 2:45pm...once this week of papers and presentations is over I will feel SO much better!

Today, I went to a lovely park for a picnic and nearly crashed into a biker crossing the street. I felt pretty bad, and the people behind me laughed.

I also threw a frisbee around, which is bad for my back but I just had to. I miss playing catch. Bad girl...

Tuesday is going to be my first evaluation for physical therapy. I'm excited!! I just hope I don't have to go there too often. That'll stress me out and make my back hurt more...

Anywayyssssss, the mama is calling for dinner...it's time for a break from this chair.

~Esa Cita

Friday, April 9, 2010

Life. Perfection with the Daily

Me as a Superhero by Mo James

"My Life Is: Perfect. Even when it's not."

"Just Live with it, you're not any less a person that you were before."

I'm a sporty kind of girl who loves to jump around and be active and busy. Running, gymnastics-ing, dancing around, being involved in my community and saving the world...I love to be that do-it-all kind of person. The way I've run my life seems to have been run on adrenaline. Even with the smallest things in life that never get recognized, I have this motivation where I want to do it. It's just how I am.

About a month ago, someone asked me what I really wanted from God. At first, I started thinking about my day-to-day body functional wants. I want to have a fit and healthy body, I want perfect grades in hopes of a good job and future some day, I wanted the obvious. But then she pointed out something important to me: that's all stuff that we would like to have but not exactly what our souls might be yearning for..which at first made me think "well what else do I ask for other than that?!?!?!"

Then I got it.

Peace. Peace in my life is what I wanted. Peace in my soul. Peace so I could be one with Him. Then I started crying because I knew that I've been losing myself to business. I'm the teenage version of the workaholic and I'm not even legally allowed to drink in the United States.

I was given the opportunity for this peace a little over 24 hours later.

The next day, I was in a random car accident. My car got totaled, and I got a back spasm. At first, I didn't feel any pain....I was still running on my adrenaline and worried about getting paperwork filled out, trying to comfort my friends, calling my mom, and pulling my economics books and backpack out of my car...

As the hours progressed, I began to feel more pain. In the ambulance on the way to the ER, I was stuck in thought. I just could not believe that with everything I had to do that night, I had to put everything aside for this. I was supposed to speak at a meeting, I was supposed to attend another meeting afterward. I was supposed to study for my ECON quiz the next day. As I looked down at the stretcher, I saw my books by my feet and almost started bursting with laughter. There I was, laying on a stretcher, and I was worrying about stupid little ECON quiz.

After this, I wasn't the same. I had to quit doing so many things, and at first I hated it. I like to be busy because it fills me up, and without my fillers to keep busy, I started feeling terrible. Luckily, God really likes to make things easy for me. I knew I had prayer....I knew that no matter happened, I still had Him around. It would be on the loneliest of nights and frustrating of days where I knew that I had something beautiful. I had the best thing that could ever come into this earth in my life. I turned from looking miserable and gross from my accident to a different, peaceful kind of joy. Someone told me that I looked way better....and if only they could understand that it's not that my backs getting better, but that it's something else.

So my backs been taking a while to get better, and I still am in pain everyday. I often wonder when I'll be able to handle a stressful situation or sneeze again without hurting, or even more importantly...to RUNagain! I can't wait to go running and play sports again. That's been my life, and I miss it so much. However, I'm in a good place right now. There's a joy that I believe is deeper, and I believe is stronger than my physical needs and wants right now. I hope to one day not be like my mom, but for now I'm having to live my life like her and deal. I'm changing, and I like it. Peaceful. Being an old workaholic sucks.

So I can say now that: My Life is perfect, even though it's not.

I am learning to just live with it. And it's getting pretty good.

Good-night....picnic tomorrow afternoon, I'm hoping for a lovely day. :)

~Esa Cita

Just Being There

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for a person is just be there. Whether it be on the phone, doing homework, or eating a meal..sharing time is caring.

As I type this, I am on the phone with my friend Ana. :)
We talk sporadically...a few words here, a few words there...and sometimes a monologue of blabber. Although she is not physically next to me it feels as though she is in the room, watching TV next to me. Oh, the power of technology. :)

Alright. That's all, goooooddddnighttty nightttt.


~Esa Cita

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Easter Monday

Easter Monday, the next best day ever.

Well my friend from Miami left today for Miami, so the entire time that he has been in DC he didn't see me. Wah, "Dad." I miss you. Today I gave a presentation with my partners on how to bring about peace in Sri Lanka....I must say, our group did a pretty ballin' job. Also, I did a lovely paper to complement that presentation.

For a while now I've been contemplating stuff that has made me a bit sad. I need to make a decision on stuff and I haven't been very happy with it. I'm scared of being hated and such. It's bleh. I don't like to complain to people much, but I think my attitudes been showing in my blog. Anywayssss, today after all my classes I went to Adoration, and just let it outtttt. Ah I let Him have it....tears-wise. I cried and just begged the Trinity to give me a big bear hug. (Hugs always make me feel loved....so yes, I do ask for hugs from God)

So yeah, I ran to God and threw my problems and my broken heart out at Him. Ever since I got in an accident, I've been realizing what's really important to me..what really matters in the end. It's just me and God and all the saints around. It's just love. That's the peace I'm looking for, and I was scared of what to do. I begged for a sign on what to do. He's gonna give it to me, but not now...I will know what I need to when I need to. He told me I was His babygirl and that He didn't like seeing his Enibaby sad. That He wanted me to be happy and celebrate His resurrection and all the things in life that He's given me. So I'm gonna listen to Him. It's gonna be the best Easter week ever, and I can't wait for more life to enjoy.

Adoration is fun. Mucho fun. It fixes everything.

I've been on air all night and so happy even though my heads been hurting from the sad crying to comfort crying to happy crying. Booboo. Gooogooogahgah. I had to start singing when I got home cuz that's one of the ways I pray without boundaries and let it out....gah!

Today was a fairy tale. God's good. Really good.

Just had to let that out. K back to studying horrible diseases for international health exam 2! eeek. :)

~Esa Cita <3333

Sunday, April 4, 2010

On that Easter Joy High

EASTER!!!!!!!!
Jesus is Risen! How exciting is that!!!

Last night, a couple of RCIA-ers became Catholic at the beautiful Easter Vigil Mass. I was bursting with smiles and tears and I watched everyone get baptized, say their "I Do's" to become Catholic, receive Communion, and get Confirmed. I have got to say, one of my favorite things about college is how the Catholic Campus Ministry knows how to get down and CELEBRATE the Resurrection. It's in the community that is on fire for God that I get to enjoy the communion of saints in the most physical way.... this is a taste of what heaven is going to be like...and this is a taste of what the saints in heaven are just dying for us to celebrate with them everyday in prayer!

It's in this that I consider it TOTALLY worth it to live everyday for His glory.



It's moments like this when I just can't wait to die and get to heaven, and I mean this in the most non-morbid way possible.

~Esa Cita

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Homework, obviously.

We Danced Anyways - Deana Carter

Haven't heard this in about a year or two.

~Esa Cita

Fear. Bravery. Courage.

"I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Maybe that means that I need to stay strong, but that I need to quit a few things in order to get where I'm supposed to be. I need to trust that without these things I will be not only okay, but BETTER and ON FIRE.

Ahg. That's scary.

Ironic, we're supposed to just give up somethings.... because we don't stop believing that there is something worth waiting for. That we are supposed to trust that giving up on that something will bring something else. I look at missionaries that are assigned at my school....they're living off of self-fund-raised salaries because they believe that God provides them with people to help their rent, that's true trust. They reach out to scary places, and sacrifice their lives to be there for others. They scare me, they are intensely devoted in such a different way that society defines devotion.

People are scared, we are so scared to push ourselves into uncertainty. Even the people who are known to be brave and attack things and ever give up need to challenge themselves. My nickname, or "LKA" that my sorority gave me after I became a sister was "Braveheart." I jumped into uncertainty and attacked what I was challenged with. But.....I fear quitting. I'm a slave to never giving up. I motivate myself on fear. I need to challenge myself to let go of my motivations that are based on fear.


~Esa Cita

Strong

"How Strong Are You Now" -Rascal Flatts

Listening to it now for the first time, it's pretty sweet.

Good Stuff, good stuff.


~Esa Cita