Jazzman's Treasure

There is a lady that works at our one of campus coffee shops who has an incredible gift. 

Along with occasionally spoiling Spanish-speaking students with whipped cream and caramel, she brings to the world one of the most beautiful things in existence: a cheerful, loving countenance. 

This cheerful, loving countenance has smiled on me many times.  It has smiled on me during my early freshman year when I had a job and constantly spoiled myself with a caramel macchiato after class; it has smiled at me after my first few exams of college that scared me half to death; it has smiled at me during my sophomore year when I treated myself on Fridays, and now, as my junior year comes to spring break it smiles at me on Tuesdays when I hang out with Amy.

On a campus where smiles are way less frequent when I am not around my friends and acquaintances, a smile and warm love coming from a stranger brings such joy to my heart.  Especially on a rainy day like today.

I recognized her today while she was washing her hands by the bathroom stall.  I said hello and asked her how she was doing.  With her wonderfully pleasant and warm way, she simply said she was well and I quietly said, “That’s GOOD!”  Some people's smiles explode from their face and make you want to smile for the rest of the day.  This lady's is one of them.

Often we forget about the importance of who we become because we are so wrapped up in thinking about what we are to DO: getting the grade, getting to class on time, making money, do, do do.  I forget about the ultimate satisfaction on becoming. 

May God bless Jazzman’s Treasure: the lady with true swagger, the swagger of a champion.

~Esa Cita

Wisdom of Non-Wisdom

Say-John Mayer


It takes me back to Senior year of high school, when acting upon ones heart was the way to go.  Back when suspensions and getting grounded for the rest of your life was worth it, and romantic memories consisted of orange tic-tacs, chocolate lollipop hearts, sneaking out of your two-story window, and long walks in the rain. And puddles. Big puddles.  Back then, throwing tacos at people's faces was totally forgivable because anything was game that year, and the small town ice cream shops had cool bars and places for bands to play at night.  The pizza place on Main Street had the high school football teams on there from 12 years earlier, and the athletes, brains, and musicians made their mommas proud. 

Senior year, the whole world was figured out solely upon the knowledge that we knew nothing; and we were pretty okay with that, because our lives were going to change forever and that was sad but okay.  The new world was going to crash on in upon us but we were the class of '08, we were just too great. 

Senior year passed on by with a blink of an eye, and I bid good-bye to convertible hair and star-gazing out on the roof.  A few thousand miles later, I watched every aspect of my life drastically switch up on me and I used my power of self-sustainability like no other.  Notes, letters, and many pieces of paper later, I began to conclude, renew, and pursue.

I would insert the beginning of college here, but that became a whole 'notha ball game.

So notes, letters, and many pieces of paper later, I began to conclude, renew, and pursue...and it turns out that I was right.  I had the whole thing figured out back then.  Wisdom of a philosopher from the B.C. times.  We are most wise because we accept that we do not know everything.

Say what you need to say, say what you need to say.

I told you so dear, nothing is more important than love. Know, love, serve; just throw it in the bag, they all need to come up with me anyways.  So boom, roasted. Time to continue loving in this trip called life, the next stop's coming soon.

~Esa Cita

Baby Cita

Lots of homework to finish tonight, but I shall drop in this picture real quickly before I begin statistics work....

My third birthday.

~Esa Cita

Late-Night Peace

A party for my taste buds.

Random fact: I have a secret illegal stash of cookie dough that I eat from.  It's my tasty runaway treat.

I don't know if the word "runaway" is a real adjective, but it feels right for what I want to portray.

A wise Franciscan once told some friends and I that if when we are alone, whether it be when we are studying, taking a walk, praying or simply staying still for a few quiet moments; if we are alone and don't feel lonely but feel peace, then we are where we are supposed to be.

We don't even have to be not-stressed out.  Our lives could be totally busy (did you know that busy is a vulgar word? A good friend told me that last week) but we can be at peace with ourselves despite that.

Peace in silence.  Matthew Kelly loves to talk about the "classroom of silence," the glorious hour where we look deep into ourselves in prayer, and "the all-still," a three-minute-long practice used by the British Royal Navy for when something goes wrong on a ship.  It is in these silent moments that we search inside for perspective, and learn to change whatever is wrong or to better whatever is already good.  Our actions reflect the confusion we have inside, so why not do some work in that department? Makes perfect sense.

In silence we can see things that aren't normally seen.  It seems pretty scary sometimes if there's a truth that exists that we wish didn't.  That's why what Sister Janet said makes perfect sense along with good ole' Matthew.  If we are at peace with ourselves in the loudspeakers of silence, then of course would it be true that our hearts are where they are supposed to be?

Now of course, we are constantly moving.  We are constantly growing.  Where we are at the moment most certainly is not where we will be in the near future, be it ten years or ten minutes from now.  We were made to grow in love and life.  So maybe, yes, I will never be exactly satisfied with myself.  So what does this mean about being where I'm supposed to be?  This peace must be one of satisfaction, and perhaps of some type of happy longing? I dunno, I'll let someone know what perfect peace is like when I get to heaven (I aspire big) and truly figure out what it means to be the best version of oneself.

It's really hard to have silence sometimes.  It takes such discipline.  I was listening to Michael Buble on Pandora when I started blogging away on this post, and then when I started thinking about what I wanted to say I realized that I wasn't even in silence.  As much as I have grown to appreciate silence, it's a battle to turn the noise off.  But the peace that I have in silence totally pwns any noise.  It's my "runaway"-happy-yummy of life.

Right now, I am at peace.  All I can hear are the murmurs of my laptop and the footsteps of my foolish brothers upstairs doing some kind of commotion.  Yes, I am longing for another bit of cookie dough, and I long to grow more in many aspects of my life.  But I am at peace.  I am satisfied.  It's some good stuff.

I am happy and I did nothing exciting today according to society, but I can't help but feel so wealthy.  It must be the runaway cookies.

~Esa Cita

Dance, dance

...And now we bring you a brief intermission.

Sigh. I have such talented friends. 

Tonight at the annual Coffeehouse that we have here at school, we were entertained by poetry, dancing, singing, playing, skit-ing, and all around amazing-ness-ing. 

I tend to have such joy in my heart after performances like these.  There's nothing like seeing people you love perform their talents; there's nothing like singing and laughing along with them.  Therefore, getting up and dancing around in the intermission was a must.

And now, to bed. Because it's sleep time, because I am tired.

~Esa Cita

You know you're probably a big kid when...

GMU Mascot.

... when your university keeps sending you emails reminding you that if you intend to graduate this semester you better turn in your graduation intent form.

No George Mason, NO! I do not want to graduate this year.  I want to continue reading books, taking notes, practice speaking in front of people, drinking coffee, being broke, befriending strangers, and dreaming about world-saving. 

Most of all, I want sleep in on Tuesdays and be in class until 10PM every Wednesday night.

No, I will not graduate; I will continue to disregard your bi-weekly emails reminding me that one day I will graduate.

Eat, Pray, Love...that's what I want to continue doing.

~Esa Cita

2/2011

Brion's Grill has yummy burgers just like I have yummy friends.

I do not have many words to share tonight.

However, the Packers won the superbowl, my nails are painted red & are plastic-looking, and I'm wearing my junior class ring from high school again. Needless to say, flashbacks to what life was like before are bouncing around in my head everyday.

I'm in a new chapter in my life...studying epidemiology these days instead of the usual Global Affairs.  My minor makes me work harder than 18-year-old Cita ever wanted to.

New semesters always bring with them new goals, challenges, and stories.  I would say that so far, it's been exciting.  I'm getting ready for March when I'll fly away for a week of service.  I've been approaching myself with more questions about what's going to happen with my next few years.  God's gonna take care of things, that's for sure.


This is my baby brother "counting to 20."

~Esa Cita