Pride-slappin' Time

It's newsletter night for Cita, which means that every person whom is the reason why I can be a missionary will receive some lovin' from me.

Every time I complete a newsletter for the quarter, I am filled with a big sense of gratitude and tend to come to an embarrassing realization that Jesus really wants to take care of the mission that I'm on.  It's not my effort of fundraising my salary, and it's not my efforts with any of the students that I work with.  It's my heart, soul, mind, and body that's being used, yes; but, I have absolutely nothing to do with this all.  I am not my own, and it's a terrifying thing to realize for a proud soul like mine.

Okay, it's time to sign a bunch of newsletter and cry tears of gratitude for all of my mission partners.

~Esa Cita

Sappy

Tonight, for fun, I was browsing the internet for fantastic words written by an awesome person.  I decided to follow G.K. Chesterton for a little bit.  I came upon his marriage proposal to his wife, Frances.  I don't know why I did that because from now on there are no proposals that can compare with this man's talent with words.

Here are the final three paragraphs; they almost had me in tears.  What a romantic.

“But the second time he went there he was plumped down on a sofa beside a being of whom he had a vague impression that brown hair grew at intervals all down her like a caterpillar. Once in the course of conversation she looked straight at him and he said to himself as plainly as if he had read it in a book: ‘If I had anything to do with this girl I should go on my knees to her: if I spoke with her she would never deceive me: if I depended on her she would never deny me: if I loved her she would never play with me: if I trusted her she would never go back on me: if I remembered her she would never forget me. I may never see her again. Goodbye.’ It was all said in a flash: but it was all said….

“Two years, as they say in the playbills, is supposed to elapse. And here is the subject of this memoir sitting on a balcony above the sea. The time, evening. He is thinking of the whole bewildering record of which the foregoing is a brief outline: he sees how far he has gone wrong and how idle and wasteful and wicked he has often been: how miserably unfitted he is for what he is called upon to be. Let him now declare it and hereafter for ever hold his peace.

“But there are four lamps of thanksgiving always before him. The first is for his creation out of the same earth with such a woman as you. The second is that he has not, with all his faults, ‘gone after strange women.’ You cannot think how a man’s self restraint is rewarded in this. The third is that he has tried to love everything alive: a dim preparation for loving you. And the fourth is – but no words can express that. Here ends my previous existence. Take it: it led me to you.”

Okay, time to get back to reality and stop sapping my heart of its energy.

~Esa Cita

Late night findings

I am currently listening to OneRepulic's new album, and OH, how marvelous it is! As I listen to my favorite (...and only) boyfriend's favorite band, I am reminded of God's loving plan for my life all along.  Every once in a while, I like to get all sappy and think about the journey that He laid out for me.  It's truly an adventure and a joy; nothing can describe Jesus' plans for us like a gift or a dance.

Family Christmas Photo?

Tonight, I had one last dinner with the family before we drive off to Kentucky on Saturday morning so that I can begin another missionary year at UK.  Where this summer has gone I don't know, but I do know that this is a pretty fun and fast life these days.

Blessings from the summer:
May: my "dating fast" ended.  Arrived in VA. Left for Florida.
June: FOCUS New Staff Training in Florida.
July: Left Florida for VA. Family Vacation in North Carolina. Fundraising. Wedding in Cincinnati. Fundraising. Begin 33-day consecration to the Triumph of the Immaculate Heart of Mary: get mind, heart, and soul blown away.
August: Fundraising. About to leave for Kentucky.

Lately, I've been asking God to tell me just WHO I am.  Sound funny? That's because I'm funny like that. I've been getting some really touching answers.  There have been a ton of "oh yeah, that was true all along and I didn't even think about that" moments.  I plan on continuing in my question-asking.  What a dance.

Time for some prayin, journaling, and bed.

Good night, world; stay beautiful.

~Esa Cita

From a lady that caught my attention this summer:
My child, do you see, there is only One; it is He, the Only Truth! Ah, He fascinates, He sweeps you away; under His gaze the horizon becomes so beautiful, so vast, so luminous… My dear one, do you want to turn with me towards this sublime Ideal? It is no fiction but a reality. 
-Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity

This summer

You've got the battle wounds, sweet little soldier.  Soak up the salt of the ocean on those scars, and let the sea remind you that you're still Daddy's beautiful little girl.  The wind will pass on through, and the waves will make you dance with the sea gulls, and maybe with a sting ray or a brother or two.  Summertime has made it's way once again into your life and it's time to let it all heal.  There's nothing better than the innocent bliss of the wise ocean.   Here's a wave and here's a story, I'll throw you some words and a prayer and a story; there's a person behind all this healing.

God, our hearts, and the sea: three inexhaustibles.  No surfer in history has ever been heard to say: "Now I've had enough of waves."  No lover will ever say, "Now I've had enough of her."  And no saint will ever say, "Now I've had enough of God." -Peter Kreeft

~Esa Cita