Todays To Do List

Confession last Thursday. Lesson learned: need to be kinder to myself so that I can be kinder to others.

Adoration last night. Lesson learned: I need to start working more on loving myself because Jesus gave so much out of love. He deserves more love from me, so I need to start appreciating myself and try to understand how to love His creation more. That's the only way I can start living better.

And I need to take better care of my back....I need to do my exercises. My backs not getting better....and this ain't good. But first I need to finish this EVPP assignment.
I also need to eat lunch cuz I'm really lightheaded and getting spells...not good.

Reminders for today after I get out class:
-eat more
-do back exercises
-prayer

Owwwieeeeeee. Need my motrin.
I'm about to whip out this EVPP assignment real fast like no other.

~Esa Cita

Tough Conversation. Growing up?

Yes, it's what the title says.

I had a tough conversation today. It was a grown up one. Not that I never have mature conversations, but this particular one was really difficult. Speaking from your heart is tough, even if it is on a Facebook chat.

Sometimes I like to think back to the times when sucking your thumb and holding on to your teddy bear would solve a problem.

To some extent, I still think that it does. (Except the sucking your thumb part...)

That's why for Holy Week, I'm giving up my teddy bear along with my other personal sacrifices. If I did still suck my thumb, I probably would give that up too.....but thankfully I grew out of that about about 15 years ago.

Last night I found myself in a scary situation, please read a diary entry from last night, provided below...

Diary entry of last night:

"Okay. I'm different. I've changed a lot. It's a Saturday night and I'm doing homework, and honestly feel okay with that. Something is wrong, or right. I am happy & I am being a total geek. Ana laughed at me, and Tim said that his lil Carmen is growing up. Perhaps my joke that turning twenty makes you wise will actually happen this summer."

I think growing up is hard. It's no fun. It's no fun to try to make people understand your decision. It's no fun when your priorities change and other people are affected. It's no fun. :/

But I know what's important to me. I know that I have to sacrifice not pleasing everyone. I know what my heart is telling me and what I consider worth the aggravation.

The most important thing to remember is to be able at any moment to sacrifice what you are for what you can be. Uhg. What a Lent it's been.

Off to edit another paper for Spanish. Can't wait to be finished with my last Spanish class ever! I'm talking about "tradiciones" that my family brought from Cuba and how they kept them alive in America.

~Esa Cita

Spanish Homework.

I can't stop getting out of my chair or going to some distracting website. So I'm leaving this blog up and whenever I get distracted will type whatever's on my mind and get back to work.


-I'm currently listening to a country music channel and doing Spanish homework. hehe
-Sunday will be over in ten minutes, wah. :( Don't leave me Sunday. :(
-Rascal Flatts writes the most tear-jerking lyrics sometimes.
-I could care less about the passive voice in Spanish. Seriously.
-I didn't know Waiting All My Life was a song my Rascal Flatts
-I'm listening to Rascal Flatts. I find them lovely.
-I just put away my teddy bear. I'll miss Oso. :( Dangit, I miss him already. :(
-I wish my teacher was more specific as to what the midterm was going to be. I feel like an goose in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean trying to find the Pacific... way too far off from the Panama Canal.
-It's 12:01 and I'm not finished with my Coke. But I'm not gonna waste it.
-I wish I had money.
-My teachers gonna want me to have a strong opinion on A Day Without a Mexican, but I'm a girl of few words sometimes. Especially around her.
-I love to love you out loud.
-I just bid good-byes and i love you's to my phone talking buddies. I miss them. <3
-Take Your Shirt Off by T-Pain is way to catchy of a tune. It's not good, especially if I get it stuck in my head in church.
-Distracted. Music is too sweet. JoJo. <3
-uhg. im going to bed after i finish re-writing this stupid spanish.

3 hours of sleep. typical monday..... wah.

Another Distracting Thought

I'm not a freshman anymore. Seriously. I'm not.


I don't like that. I'm a big girl now. A big college girl. I need to do things like get an internship and dress like a lady and not always use childish vocabulary. This is the time when having a job is essential. Grades are


I was on Facebook and was looking at a wall-to-wall that I have with a friend. We met when I was a freshman and my nickname was freshman. A year later, I let him know that I was a sophomore although the name freshman was welcome to stay. Now, another year later, I won't mind sticking it back on although there's no way I'd REALLY want to stay a freshman. That was such an ew year.

I'm just not a fan of what's being expected of me, partly because I want more out of myself and I want to radically change things in my life.

Oh Wait.

Hold on a seconddddd. I'm not done blogging.

I forgot to mention that on Thursday night, I saw someone whom I haven't seen since 8th grade graduation in 2004.

My old classmate for 8th grade!!!

Ahh memories. We did a little catching up for about 45 minutes, and then I had to call someone for my sorority and go to a meeting. It's funny how much things have changed since 8th grade.

"Angelus Academy?"
"8th grade?"
"Yessss"
[high five handshake]
-People around stare at us-

Such is the life. Gotta love it. One of the first things he said to me was that I was the Valedictorian and he was the Salutatorian.

6 years later, I really don't see the significance on my life today. I didn't include 8th grade in my resume for college, won't put it on my resumes for my future jobs once I leave college.....and if I ever reunite with my old 8th grade school, I think I'm going to be more interested in the little chapel 150 children squeezed into and that crazy clapping song we had to sing EVERY SINGLE MORNING.

A Day Without A Mexican

At The Disney Mall in Orlando

Today I watched A Day without a Mexican as I:

drank Coca-cola,
held on to my teddy bear,
ate chocolate chip cookies,
and relished the fact that I had slept in this morning AND talked on the phone until late last night.

Sundays during Lent are SUCH a blessing.

Although I had started going weak on my resolutions for the past few days, I will go into this week strong. I cannot let the difficulties get to me. I gotta re-gain my energy!
Today at Mass part of Psalm 126 stuck out to me:

"Although they go forth weeping,
carrying the seed to be sown,
They shall come back rejoicing,
carrying their sheaves. "

Me likey.

My goals for the week will be the following:

• keep up with daily morning prayer. got shaky last week.
• kick butt on my Spanish Midterm
• kick butt on my EVPP paper
• do something non-school or stress related for more than an hour
• keep up with the Lent sacrifices.
• Be happy.

My mom said that I looked like I was suffering and though that it was because I have allergies. While that may be true, that's not the real reason. May God grant me many opportunities to safely find peace and joy in my day to day life.

Now it's off to find some cookies and start doing more Espanol work. Joy joy joy.

~Esa Cita

Gloomy.

Yooooooo, it's been quite a while.

I'm so stressed from school it's not even funny. Enough to make a girl gloomy.
Bleh. Caring about school sure has its downs.

Things have been tough lately....I have to wake up every morning to take my dad to get to the VRE by 6:45 and then I take either the Seton kids to their carpool or the St. Bernadette's kids to school.

Then my mom takes me to school. There's lots of car sharing going on.

I'm in need of a break!!! Only 7 weeks left of school and I can't wait for a long long long weekend.

Well, I'm going to get on my economics reading, cuz I need to do Spanish work.
MIDTERM-o. Blehhhh.

This picture is from Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs.

Okay, I'm off.

~Esa Cita