The Origin of Cita

I don't recall that I've ever shared the story on how and why I sign everything on this blog "Cita." Here's the story:

So, once upon a time, I made a friend named Kana. Kana was great; really great. Since I was often called Carmencita and since many of my non-Latin friends thought that Carmen was short for Carmencita, Kana and I enjoyed joking with my name. He started calling me Cita, and I even changed my Facebook name to be Carmen Cita for a while to see how many people would think that Cita was my middle name.

Cita became the name he called me, and was another cool nickname that I came to love.

Kana is still great; really great. He now lives in California studying fashion design, designing all sorts of cool things. And he still calls me Cita, the name I carry for this blog.

If I were a rich kid I'd totally would buy his stuff. There are so many times where I wish that I was rich so that I could heavily support a trillion people and organizations I wish I had money to support. Missionaries, mission trips, fashion designers, jewelry-makers, orphanages, schools, the organizations my family members and I are part of, and all these different fantastic things.

Distractions aside, that's the story of how I came to make this blog to be Esa Cita. In Spanish, Esa means "That." So, I'm saying "That Cita."

Funny thing is, "Cita" is actually a Spanish word. So if you speak Spanish, you'll notice that my name sounds kinda funny and I'm technically calling myself that appointment or that quote. Gotta love being a Spanglish speaker, teh heh.

Time to go work on a paper. Got about three that I need to work on..yaahhhooo school!!

~Esa Cita

Humans and Their Jibber-Jabber

The superficial world, the glamor and the fame; it's nothing to me, it's nothing. Empty as can be, those snapping cameras go... what use is it for me to show off to the world? I can dance the night away, I can hold on to bodies tight, but the mere physical could never be a true delight. Bodies with no heed for souls...what a sad concept. Life with no meaning, what is this? It's disgusting, it's empty, it makes me want to cry.

Superficial and so lonely, this makes no substantial sense. You can catch the world's eyes, yet gain no heart and no souls. Where is true love? True peace? It must certainly isn't found in the human games we play.

I often catch myself in a daze when I'm surrounded by what seems to be waves of distractions and superfluous things. As a society we create rockstars out of simple beings who are no more deserving of attention than we, yet we constantly wonder..."can I be them one day?" "Can I be a rockstar?" "Will I ever get my day, ever be good enough for words and acts of affirmation?" Where is the love, where is the real? Why, why, WHY must we insist upon the masks of a "life" that we know we all don't live? What happened to humility, and letting the peace of your heart shine through you and radiate TRUE beauty?

It's all empty, meaningless, and pointless to be a performance without love. A performance for a world that knows otherwise? No, thank you. Love cannot be absent, there's no point without it. There's no direction, no meaning without love.

Jibber-jabber, quibber-tabber, there's nothing like the real thing.

~Esa Cita

Half Full, Half Finished

Near My Old House in the Station

November is almost half way over!




This means that Thanksgiving is imminent...
creepin' on me and trying to catch me off-guard.
Papers, outlines, quizzes and tests are blurring me into the end of the semester.
Plans for the future semesters have me excited for new things.

My week was pretty flippin' alright. Friday was full of bustlin', life sharing and chit-chatting, monthly Upper Room, tears, and then I watched Hancock with Noeli. Yes, Hancock. The movie with the most wonderful man ever. Ah. [Sigh] Oh, and my ring that I got last December broke on me Friday night as I was reaching into the fridge for something. Slight travesty...it was my favorite ring and I feel naked. One of the wooden pieces is still in the fridge somewhere....I can't find it. Oh well, someone's gonna find wood in their ham and cheese.

Saturday, I slept in, babysat, studied, and went to see the Bayanihan Philippine National Dance Company perform at the Center for the Arts. Super awesome. Tons of colors, jumping Filipinos, Spanish-speaking, a beautiful rose in the background. Oh man oh man.

Sunday was family brunch day! I saw Anastasia for the first time in many years. Love. I've forgotten how much I enjoy it. I haven't forgotten how much I love my family chain in FOCUS though. Sure makes things beautiful I must say. Speaking of beautiful...the weather is still AWESOME!!! Last year it was terribly terribly cold at this time. However, now it's just ridiculous amazing. Blue skies, colorful leaves, perfect weather. Couldn't ask for more.

The rest of the day was spent studying ECON until about midnight. Not cool. I decided this section to actually really study in hopes of raising my grades. We'll see. I'm not too happy with my homework and whined away my salvation to one of my classmates on the phone while doing it.

So this is random, but...dreams.

• Go overseas for a service trip before I graduate
• Study abroad
• Get my back into awesome shape
• Get on a whole 'notha level in life
  

About those dreams:
I wanted to go overseas this coming spring for a service trip, but because of health stuff I can't. Bleh. Senior year I wanna be better and able. Instead, I'm applying for this other trip next semester that doesn't make me do physical stuff. I'm trying to study in IL with the Community of Saint John! I'm really excited about that. I'm gonna be studying philosophy and love. I'm gonna come out a wise ole soul. ;)
Study Abroad: Senior year, Fall 2011. It's gotta happen. I've gotta try and make it work out. We shall see!
Get my back into awesome shape: sitting up straight it my first step. [sits up straight] It's difficult for a slobby sitter like myself. But if I want to get better I need to get on top of this. Also, those back exercises need some doing..
Whole 'notha level: Pretty much, I just want more and more.

Well, it's time for sleepy-pie. Good night dear blog.


~Esa Cita


P.S.

One of those Cute Daddy Songs I Love:
I remember when you were born
I felt like one lucky Son of a gun
Held you in my arms so tight
I'd never forget
The best years of my life

Apple of your daddy's eye
Wanna be the one to hold you in the night
Apple of your daddy's eye
Oh, oh sleep tight
Don't you worry gonna be alright

Don't stop ever lovin' me because
You're the apple of your daddy's eye.

Hello Novemb-o

The Way

The month of November is about to "attack" me.

(For lack of articulate words that describe busy) I've been anticipating this month like my friend probably anticipated her Marine Corps Marathon she ran a bit over a week ago. Until I leave for Thanksgiving Break, I will be on "Eeeek" mode. But it's okay...because, well, it has to be.

I just registered for my classes to take next semester. I have to take two almost-3-hour and classes because that's the only way that they're offered next semester. I am not pleased. I detest late class & once a week classes, and I'm taking three. But if I want my diploma, I need to suck it up.

Once the next two weeks are over, most of my work will be through and I'll be able to get ready for finals. How crazy is that? Finals. Already. Eek.

On the up-side, I had a job interview this past weekend with the hotel at my school. The manager was SO nice and awesome. I have a second interview, probably next week. I'm pumped.

This past weekend, I experienced some challenges...but also a lot of love. It's in the love that I'm not totally freaking out. I'm scared about life as a student and as a me, but I'm loved. I got a letter, a song, and support for seemingly no reason at all other than the fact that I'm loved. Funny thing is, it was given to me in the most perfect way possible and I didn't really even ask for it. Heaven knows that I needed it.

Life sure is confusing and hurts sometimes, but it's full of so many gifts.

~Esa Cita

From God ;)

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say:

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Words

"Trash-talking and rambling like you know everything, your words are foolish knives with no certain direction and ultimately a big fat waste."


Boom, roasted.

All Saints!

Party Party
2:45 AM and I'm not in bed yet...ew.


My goal is 12:45 every night. Tomorrow night, yes, this is gonna happen.

So the Halloween party was fabulous. Lots of dancing, which is bad for my neck/back but it was totally worth it especially if it's going to act like it's chronic. I spent a bit of time singing with friends under the stars too with la guitara, always a good time! Good night, good times.

I am being faced with ...the uncomfortable. I know what to do, and am stalling. I tried going to mother dear for some encouragement..and she totally blew me off and told me to go do stuff on my own. Ouch. Being 20 stinks. Now I know why I'm so tough and seemingly un-sympathetic to people I love about doing the right thing.

Tomorrow my dad is paper official on his retirement! So, my whole family is missing some of school to go get new ID cards! Exciting.

Tomorrow my paper will be due for my anti-capitalist class. We're discussing hybridity...something that has a habit of coming into pretty much every class discussion. I think if I hear the word hybridity one more time I will cringe with discomfort... It's like those times when you hear that overplayed song on the radio again and change the station...only to find that the next station also likes that song as well. That's what the words globalization and hybridity mean to me as a Global Affairs major. There's pros, cons, and oh look a squirrel that are associated with it.

I've been getting addicted to tea. I now like: Lemon, White Pomegranate, Blueberry, and Rasberry. All fruity drinks...but I'm getting there. Maybe I'll like me some different tea in the future. Who will know...stay tuned for more!

Well, Cita needs to get off of this blog.
However, I must leave with this awesome link that I bumped into by accident. It's my cousin, and he's pretty great. He pretty much started the Catholic Veggie Tales of the future with his company. Supporting them is definitely something we should all do.

Also, Happy All Saints Day!!


~Esa Cita